I’m Back… kinda sorta not really

sleepy-cuhg.jpg
How I spend most of my days lately 🙂

I’m here! I’m alive. I’m still working on my goals… little by little. The last time I blogged anything was exactly 3 months ago!  I did not plan that. In fact, I had every intention of talking about the biggest thing lately, the NYCM! But….I couldn’t muster the words. That marathon was hard! 

I’m sure I’ll write about it someday. But truth be told, coming off that marathon left me drained in almost every sense of the word. My trip to NY was wonderful but I think I left my love for running on the Queensboro Bridge. Lately running even short distances has been, well, hard. And my motivation has been non-existent! So, have I been doing other workouts instead? Nope. Have I been eating super clean since I’m not working out as hard? HAHA not even close.

Guys, my “fat pants” are getting tight. It’s time to get my ass in gear.  But my love or even willingness to run is still not here. That doesn’t mean I’m done forever, but is it okay to take a break? Can you have running depression? 

nycm
Yeah… I wanted to die

I did not do well at the NYCM. And when I mean, I didn’t do well, I mean it took everything in me to finish. And left me with nothing. I still feel like I have nothing to give running. 1.5 months later. I know no one is timing my easy runs but I am still beating myself up that I should be faster/ stronger/ have better endurance / better form and on and on.  Am I being a little brat about the whole thing? Yeah, probably.

Should I just force myself to go hoping that the passion I once had for the sport comes back? I honestly don’t know. I have a few races I’m already signed up for that are quickly approaching and I don’t want to bonk or defer those so I’m running out of training time.

So what’s my plan? Honestly at this point it’s just do what I can when I can in terms of running. Eating healthy is a high priority but running love will come.

 

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