Is there a Right and Wrong Way to Get Motivated?

The other day I was talking with a friend and he asked me a question that kind of caught me off guard for a number of reasons. When he left I started journaling about it/my thoughts since and decided I wanted to write about it on here. I’m not even sure what’s the best way to get this out but thought it could be a good thing. So let me just ramble and share and talk about whats rattling around in my head, okay? Okay. So what did my friend ask me?

Had I noticed any difference in the way men treated me since I had lost weight?

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I started to type up all the thoughts that raced through my head after I heard the question but I don’t think I could adequately explain even with all the blog space on the internet.

Simple answer? Yes.

I didn’t lose weight to get more dates or to find a husband… necessarily. I lost weight for my health, but let’s be real, it was like 90% of the reason. The other 10% were plain old superficial reasons. Yes, I wanted (want) to feel good, but I also wanted to look good. And I do look better. And guys are noticing.

Fitness motivation get fit

When I date someone new, eventually I feel like I need to “disclose” my fat past. Ha. It’s not that big a secret but it is a part of me and my weight is constantly on my mind. After 27ish years of being overweight, there are lingering insecurities. It’s been over 2 years since I hit my goal weight (although it’s crept up a few… or 20) But there are times when I really really really feel like that 180 lb girl again. And boys didn’t think that 180 lbs girl was that cute.

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And the truth is, it’s NICE to feel attractive to the opposite sex. (Or preferred sex.) It’s nice to be asked out on a date and get dressed up and actually like your outfit and not just put on whatever hides your belly or doesn’t give you a muffin top.

Losing weight for a man shouldn’t be the sole reason. It shouldn’t be the top of the list. I am in no way advocating that it be. But can it be on the list at all? Can it be wayyy down at the bottom? Sometimes I am grasping at whatever motivates me to get to the gym or pick baby carrots over Cheetos. So yes, sometimes the only thing that gets through to me is the thought of my ass looking hot in jeans next time this guy sees me.

Inspirational Fitness Quote - Motivational Quotes: 18 Fitness Quotes to Inspire You to Work Harder | Shape Magazine

 

I ate a Donut! And it was okay (the action, not the taste. It tasted delicious!)

I was overweight for a long time. There are psychological affects that linger when you’re constantly scanning and finding you’re the biggest girl in the room. I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with food for so long; it got better when I finally took control and lost the weight but there are some old habits I’ve found myself falling back on.

before-and-after

Just recently I’ve decided to address some of these issues head on. One of them is my binge eating.I don’t think it would surprise anyone to learn that a girl who was almost 200lbs would binge but even 40 lbs lighter, I still have these episodes. I am not 100% comfortable getting into specifics but it’s something that’s there in my life and something I have to deal with. Like that HIMYM episode about baggage. Well my carry on reads “binge eater.”

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I was talking to someone recently who understand what I’m going through and he suggested this exercise to me. He told me to eat one donut and my response was, “I’ve never eaten just one donut.” Here’s what I did:

After work, a time when I’m tired and my cravings for junk are in full force, I went to my favorite donut place, Bosa. Donuts are a huge “trigger food” for me. I told myself I was going to buy one and only one donut, so when I went in I chose very carefully. I wasn’t allowing myself to have alllll the flavors so I had to pick a good one. I went with the kind with peanuts on top!

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Then I ate it there. I didn’t eat in the car. I didn’t eat it at home in secret. I ate it out in the open because what I was doing was okay. It wasn’t shameful. And I savored every bite. I didn’t watch TV or listen to a podcast. I didn’t go on FB or IG. I paid attention to what I was eating.

And I told myself what I was doing was a good thing! I repeated it in my head. It didn’t matter how many calories, grams of fat, grams of sugar this food had. I wasn’t “ruining” or “cheating” on my diet. I wasn’t a failure for giving into temptation or going off the rails. I was 100% in control. And it felt really good.

 

 

Time is a choice. You have time for what you make a priority.

I love this! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say they don’t have time to work out. I don’t mean this to be mean at all, but that is just an excuse. It’s not that they don’t have the time, it’st that they don’t make the time. I work 50 hours on a good day. I get to the gym. My sister is a full-time mom of a 4 year old. She runs more than I do. My coworker, works full time and has 3 teens and she works out hard at her gym. Where does your health fall on the priority list? Sometimes it is not at the top and that’s okay. Sometimes sleep, or being with family or sanity takes precedence! I get that 100%. But you have time for what you want to do, on the whole.

Try changing your language. Don’t say I don’t have time to workout; but instead working out is not a priority. And see if that “sits well” with you. If not, change your actions and see how that makes you feel.

 

 

Things We Give Power To- Weight Loss is a Long Journey

This blog is just a little hobby. It isn’t much. Just a way for me to get my thoughts out and give me just tiniest bit incentive to stay on track. Only a few people I know “IRL” know about this place.

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I don’t blog with any regularity. I also don’t remember what I’ve said! Haha but since I do feel like I have a bit of anonymity and the tiniest of tiny soap boxes, there are some things I want to talk about.  I want to be more open and honest in 2017 (and maybe a bit more organized with these little posts of mine.)

Today I want to show off my blue shirt.

Here’s how I normally do my day. I go to the gym in the/my morning (I wake up around 2 pm usually) and go straight from there to work. (I work from 8pm to 6am)  I have been known to forget 1) underroos 2) a bra 3) my hair dryer 4) shoes. It’s a miracle when I remember to bring all required equipment it takes to make me presentable.

Today I went into my closet to grab work clothes and originally I planned to wear a dress but decided to wait till tomorrow so I can dress up a bit for NYE. Then I saw this shirt hanging in the back of my closet.

I bought this shirt years ago. From Ross I think. It’s not fancy. But when I bought it (4 years ago??) it was too small and I never wore it. But I didn’t take it back or toss it. It just stayed on its hanger.

Then I lost 50 pounds. And I tried on the shirt again and it fit! I remember being SO ecstatic. One more reminder that all my hard work paid off.

And then I gained 20 pounds (well 19 to be exact!)   Laying it all out on the table and I’m not proud at all to admit this. But since hitting my goal weight, I’ve gotten comfortable and back into some old habits. I’m nowhere near my highest weight and there is some muscle on this body of mine. But I’m up. And my clothes have been fitting more and more snug lately.  And I haven’t worn this shirt in a while.

So this morning, I stood in my closet trying to pack up for work and I saw this shirt and told myself I couldn’t wear it. I didn’t think I could fit into it. But lately I’ve been working really hard to overcome some of the issues I let plague me and that includes some BDD thoughts. So I grabbed this shirt and stuffed into my bag (and prayed it fit! I do keep an extra shirt in my gym locker. I can forget a hair dryer and still go to work but a shirt? I don’t think that would fly.)

I worked out (turned into a back day. No time for biceps…) and then I got dressed. IT FITS! I would dare say, it’s even roomy.

I gave this shirt so much power. I refused to wear it or even try it on because of what I let it signify. I was so scared of what it would mean “when” it was too small again. It’s just a damn shirt. Haha. I’ve worked hard to get where I am now, even if it’s not where I would like to end up. But guess what, my journey isn’t over!