Is there a Right and Wrong Way to Get Motivated?

The other day I was talking with a friend and he asked me a question that kind of caught me off guard for a number of reasons. When he left I started journaling about it/my thoughts since and decided I wanted to write about it on here. I’m not even sure what’s the best way to get this out but thought it could be a good thing. So let me just ramble and share and talk about whats rattling around in my head, okay? Okay. So what did my friend ask me?

Had I noticed any difference in the way men treated me since I had lost weight?

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I started to type up all the thoughts that raced through my head after I heard the question but I don’t think I could adequately explain even with all the blog space on the internet.

Simple answer? Yes.

I didn’t lose weight to get more dates or to find a husband… necessarily. I lost weight for my health, but let’s be real, it was like 90% of the reason. The other 10% were plain old superficial reasons. Yes, I wanted (want) to feel good, but I also wanted to look good. And I do look better. And guys are noticing.

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When I date someone new, eventually I feel like I need to “disclose” my fat past. Ha. It’s not that big a secret but it is a part of me and my weight is constantly on my mind. After 27ish years of being overweight, there are lingering insecurities. It’s been over 2 years since I hit my goal weight (although it’s crept up a few… or 20) But there are times when I really really really feel like that 180 lb girl again. And boys didn’t think that 180 lbs girl was that cute.

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And the truth is, it’s NICE to feel attractive to the opposite sex. (Or preferred sex.) It’s nice to be asked out on a date and get dressed up and actually like your outfit and not just put on whatever hides your belly or doesn’t give you a muffin top.

Losing weight for a man shouldn’t be the sole reason. It shouldn’t be the top of the list. I am in no way advocating that it be. But can it be on the list at all? Can it be wayyy down at the bottom? Sometimes I am grasping at whatever motivates me to get to the gym or pick baby carrots over Cheetos. So yes, sometimes the only thing that gets through to me is the thought of my ass looking hot in jeans next time this guy sees me.

Inspirational Fitness Quote - Motivational Quotes: 18 Fitness Quotes to Inspire You to Work Harder | Shape Magazine

 

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Getting back on the running horse

Guys, I’ve been terrible at posting here. Mainly because there hasn’t been much to post about. To say I’ve been slacking is an understatement! Everyday is a new day to make better choices and I really want to rock my next half and the NYCM! So I have no more time to goof off.

Lets rewind to last week when it got real hot real quick. I ran up north for a trail run but ended up just hiking/walking.

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I went around this lake that I fell in love with. It was a beautiful day and seriously being near any body of water makes me 235% happier!! It wasn’t long but it was a good little trip.

 

Then last Thursday, I ran the Special Olympics Law Enforcement Torch Run with my coworkers for the 2nd year in a row. It’s a really cool event but man, this year was ROUGH! It was the hottest day of the year so far (106*) and we started off WAY too fast for me and never slowed down. Last year we tried to keep it all together and went really slow. This year, not so much. It was very defeating.  But we made it to the end.

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But it made me really want to progress and reminded me how little room for slacking/error I have! Time to get busy marathon training!!!

I was talking out loud at work and said I have to get real about marathon training, work 50 hours a week, sleep 8 hours a day and have a social life. Then I turned to my friend and asked, “is that even physically possible?” The answer is no!

Sleep is always the first to go and second is working out. Hmm…Actually all chores/errands are the FIRST thing to go! I’m still trying to juggle it all. So far it involves a lot of naps.

Monday, when I woke up I went over to my parents’ house since my brother came to visit! I love my brother; he’s super hilarious and I sure don’t get to hang out with him enough. We all went to dinner (going out to dinner has really become a problem…especially w/ my social life picking up 😉 not that I’m complaining!) Luckily I think I burned off some calories just laughing at my family’s antics!

Then home for a quick nap and then off to work! I worked OT from 0200-0600 and then went straight out for my run. Almost 8 miles (hey when I circles back around and got to my car and the clock said 7.75 I figured that was good enough! haha)

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More water!! It’s just better! Plus it really cooled down this week and I could not be more thankful. The longer I can go without having to run double digit miles in the triple digit degree heat the happier I will be!!

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It was a slow one today and I feel fine about it! I galloway’d it and ran 5 min walked 30-45 seconds. over and over for 7.75 miles.

Okay, time to get serious and keep track of everything with these posts! I want to remember everything about the NYCM and that includes training!!

Feeding my Feelings NEVER Makes Me Feel Better. You’d Think I’d Learn!

Well… I definitely did not do well this week. It was rough! And to be honest, I just gave up.

Saturday night, I went on another bad date. I came home starving and upset so I went out and got take out that I knew 100% was feeding my feelings and wasn’t going to help me feel better in the long run but I also 100% did not care.

We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry..:

I also eat  LOTS of fries…

Sunday, my dad and brother picked me up and we headed out for California for my grandfather’s funeral. I planned all these options for fast food but I didn’t think about breakfast! And that’s the first place we headed after they got me. I was half asleep and my defenses were shot so I got some breakfast. The rest of the weekend was just eating whatever and whenever. Plus all the funeral potatoes after the service.

 

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It was definitely hard to say goodbye to my grandfather. He was a really special guy.

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I mean, look at this stud. He only had 1 arm but never let that stop him and did everything he wanted. He danced, played tennis, played the piano, hiked, flew planes and crashed a couple times! He was brilliant and became an electric engineer and worked on the Apollo Space program! One of a kind. I was super proud of him and so thankful to have him as my gramps!!

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I was sure happy to get back to my pups!! This little guy makes every day better.

After my hard weekend of boy trouble, trying not to let boy trouble overshadow grandpa grief, dealing with grandpa grief, and then Valentines day to remind me of boy trouble, I did NOT take care of my body or fuel it the way I should’ve and let me tell you, I am feeling the aftermath! I did weigh in and it was a scary number. Back to normal life today and back on the wagon. That’s all I can do!

Looking Back on 2016

I have a terrible memory so honestly, whatever happened earlier than say July is basically a blur. So end of the year recaps are hard for me but I did want to take a minute and reflect. I got to do some pretty cool stuff!

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For starters in Feb, I got to go through the LDS temple. A truly special day. Even if you’re not of this religion, if you have the chance to walk through a temple open house- DO it. The buildings are always so beautiful.

I went on my nephew’s birthday. The poor dude and his little brother were in the hospital so so sick. Luckily they all came out just fine but that was certainly memorable. 😦

 

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In April, I ran a ULTRA Ragnar with the best team there ever was. Team 9 Run Run!! Honestly, I could talk about that weekend for hours but it did result in one of my fav pictures of me:

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Taken after my 9 mile leg! (1 leg of 6!)

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Then about 1 week later, I ran the Dirty Girl with these awesome ladies.

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In the spring-ish, I went on the best date of my life (it lasted 12 hours!) with that handsome fella and later he took me to Flagstaff. I just loved it there; I thought it was so pretty. I may not have ended up with that guy but we’re still close and he’s saved my bum way too often. I owe him a whole lot!

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(Sorry for the blurriness!) Right after Flag, I got to go with a gal pal to see O-Town!! HA. I’m friends with Dan Miller’s brother so we all went to see him preform in Phx. My 13 year old self was beyond excited.

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In June I ran the Fontana Half and wanted to die.

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Oh July… I turned the big 29! And got to go to Hawaii. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to go, however… HI was a big ol’ bust. Lots of good and lots of bad memories tied to this trip. I think I’ll stick to California.

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Like Long Beach. I forgot my pants but I still ran the Long Beach Half marathon!

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Last month, I totalled my car. BIG Frowny face on that life event. It took me outta the running game for a few weeks and cost a LOT of money. But, honestly, it could’ve been so so much worse and just I’m glad I’m alive to see 2017.

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In the summer, my parents moved to the valley so I’ve been able to spend more time with them and celebrate holidays with them. I just had to include this picture from Christmas day because how cute are my niece and nephews!!

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Which brings us to today. Another New Years Eve at work. I’m thankful for my job. and my coworkers for whipping up a nacho bar potluck. Time to go pig out on my last cheat meal on 2016 🙂

 

Happy New Years Everyone!!! 

 

The Trifecta of Weight Gain

I am injured, stressed and heartbroken. The trifecta of weight gain…

This past week has been a rough one. I’m officially giving up on this idea of running the Turkey Trot this year. I thought my ankle was getting better and I think I pushed it too far yesterday, because today I am hobbling! Better to skip a 10K and heal completely than risk further damage. Now I’m just hoping I’ll be ready for the 12K of Christmas on 12/10!

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braced and bruised!

I was able to see the chiropractor who, if you live in the Phoenix Valley, I adore her and definitely recommend. I got whiplash in the accident and she could feel the inflammation in my shoulders. I’ll have to go back 2-3 more times she thinks but she was so beyond helpful with insurance and everything. The ‘paperwork’ of all this post- accident stuff has been a hassle to say the least! Stress, stress, stress. But I’m making baby steps. I have had an amazing support system of family and friends that I cannot thank enough! So during this season of gratitude, I am ever thankful for them.

Then there’s the heartbreak. I know, again… This time was ugly and unexpected! Dating is so hard, you guys. So in between phone calls to insurance and icing my ankle, I’ve been checking my phone for texts that will never come and crying.

And then I eat.

I’ve been eating everything I shouldn’t! Falling into old (bad) habits. Grabbing fast food and take out because I really have been busy and want comfort food. Going too long between eating while I’m running around doing all these errands and then coming home and eating my way through my entire kitchen. Too tired to cook. Too sad to get up and be productive. Stressed out. Can’t stand for too long (let alone work out and at least burn off some of these calories!) And most of all, punishing myself with food.

And the holidays are here! It’s hard for everyone not to gain over the holidays. Temptations and treats are more than abundant.

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I recognize what I am doing. I know that each one of these factors, injury/stress/sadness are battles I need to fight for the sake of my health but when it’s 3 against one, I have been waving the white flag more often than I should.

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Now is the time to be strong. To stand up to myself. To stand up FOR myself. Eating isn’t going to solve my problem; eating unhealthy will create more problems. It’s not going to be easy. I’m not going to be perfect. But I cannot give up on myself.

 

 

I’m a little Scared of Halloween

Halloween has always been a pretty big day for me. I love this time of year and Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays. As a kid, of course I loved the candy and trick or treating. I’ve always loved getting dressed up and chose my costumes with some intent!

In 2007, (WOW that sounds like forever ago!) I met my now ex boyfriend on Halloween, while dressed as Boo from Monster’s Inc ;). We dated for 3 years. When we broke up, Halloween lost a little bit of the magic as it was now an anniversary of something that stung just a little.

But I moved on. And last year, 2015, I made my then boyfriend do the Haunted 5K with me. My love, my fav sport and my fav holiday all bundled together for a great day. Oh and I was dressed as my fav animal- a shark, and he was a shark bite victim.

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I sewed it while I was at work! Lol 

We broke up 8 days later…

So this year, I’m in a weird head space. I went back and forth for a long time on whether I wanted to do the Haunted 5K again (this time alone) and then found out it was a virtual run only and I felt like I was off the hook.

My life today is not what I expected it to be this time last year.  But here I am, trying to make the most with what I’ve got. I live a very blessed life; I am fully aware of that. But it’s just not where I thought I would be at 29. I’m not sure any of this is health/running related other than I did a 5K a year ago! Part of me wishes, I could do it again this year to kind of wash that man right out of my running/Halloween hair. But there is still the virtual race. Should I do it?

If anyone asks me my favorite Broadway play (which since that’s basically all I listen to, I actually do get asked pretty regularly) I always answer Aida. It’s beautiful and so beyond sad I can hardly even listen to it!  But there is a line Aida sings to Radames  that I think about a lot.

“If you don’t like your fate, change it. You are your own master, there are no shackles on you. So don’t expect any pity or understanding from this humble palace slave.”

There is still a special place in my heart for Halloween but the walls are a bit cracked.

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Luckily, Thanksgiving holds no ghosts of boyfriends past memories for me and I’m all signed up to do the turkey trot!!


 

 

 

Heathy Dates (not the fruit)

Guys, I’m single. Like super single. Which involves going on dates. Sure, dates can be fun and you get all dressed up and you go somewhere nice and you get butterflies… like once a, I dunno, year? Dating F’ing sucks. It sucks.

It sucks.

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So I go on dates. Which often means going out to dinner. Or breakfast since you know, night shift… K I’m going to try real hard to NOT be a downer about dating (did I mention it sucks?!) but here’s how it normally goes for me:

It’s Friday evening  and (I have just woken up) my date is picking me up for dinner in 2 hours. Which is like going out for “dinner” at like 11 AM to a regular person. It’s not great. So I skip my regularly scheduled workout to get ready. He picks me up and then tells me where we’re going to dinner. I order something normal because I don’t want to look like that girl. I eat too much because I am THAT girl. We eat, we hang out. We do NOT Netflix and chill. He leaves. It’s now midnight or something. I’m full, I’m exhausted, I’m not about to go to the gym now…

I eat my leftovers on the couch while watching reruns of NewsRadio.

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My love for this show is unending.

All in all, fitness takes a back seat on “date nights.”

So can we merge dating and a healthy lifestyle??

PLAN! Planning is key. If you’re lucky enough to get previous intel on the restaurant, you can look up their menu and find the best choices. Most of the time I’ll ask the dude where we’re going and I get “I’m not sure yet” in response.

Okay, well I can still plan the rest of the day/week around the splurge. Eat light and healthy at the meals surrounding your dinner date to balance things out.

I don’t want to look like super high maintenance asking this no oil, that on the side on and on. But I WILL ask for veggies instead of the mashed potatoes or simply no sour cream please.

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If you feel comfortable, don’t go out to dinner. Stay in and cook! Impress your guy/lady with a fancy schmany home cooked meal. S/he doesn’t even need to know it’s low cal.

Skip dinner altogether and do something active. Dance, bowl, rock climb, hike. (But be smart. Don’t go off into the woods alone with a man you just met!)

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I did go on a hike on my very favorite date I’ve ever been on! View from the top 🙂 my view of my date–even bettah!!

I have even gone on a few running dates! But let me remind you, I am super single, so mayyybe don’t take my advice.

And ultimately, this boy has my heart!! ❤

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