Phoenix Half Marathan Race Recap: Well that didn’t go as planned.

Did I tell you guys I got sick again? ‘

My grandfather died a couple weeks ago, so my dad, brother and I drove to California for the funeral and both men were coughing and sneezing and generally gross. My brother said it was allergies and my dad… I can’t remember but I was stuck around them for a long time and my grandfather’s house where we stayed is as close to shambles as I can say without being too disrespectful. Anyway, I came home with a nasty cold that is lingering and I was furious that I was running another half marathon while sick. (This was my third time.)

I thought I could power through and after all the races I missed last November & December from my sprained ankle, I did not want to miss another race (that I paid for!) At the starting line of this race, I talked with a few people that were also running on injuries and how we runners just won’t give up and want to race no matter what! That’s the kind of people we are.

So Friday, I’m literally driving to the expo, when I get a text from the dude I was dating ending things completely. I called him and we had a very horrible/mean/heartbreaking conversation. As I was driving to the damn expo! So I literally walked in, picked up my packet and left. I didn’t even stay and grab a shirt. Just got my bib and walked out.

I was so upset all day, I didn’t eat anything. Not a smart decision before a half but I couldn’t even think about food.  I went to bed early but woke up at 1 am and my mind was spinning so I couldn’t go back to sleep. I just laid in bed till 3:00 came and it was time to get ready. I did eat some oatmeal and brought a banana to eat at the start.

The start line was FREEZING. We were huddled around heat lamps but they were the tall kind so the tops of our heads were all that could feel any heat and that was only when the wind wasn’t blowing. We stood out there for about 1.5 hours and the whole time I kept thinking about how I should just go home. I shouldn’t run. I was in no position. My heads not in the game. I didn’t eat enough or drink any water yesterday. My body is sick. I shouldn’t be here!

But I came all this way and paid all this money so I ran. The first two miles, my feet were literally numb from the cold. By mile 3 they defrosted but now I was running on pins and needles. My race plan was to start off slow and pick up the pace at mile 4 but by the time it was mile 4 I was exhausted, upset and so disheartened by the whole weekend I just couldn’t go any faster. Already.

By mile 5 I just started to walk. I pretty much gave up. Around mile 8, by BFF AL texted me good luck. With schedules and stuff, I haven’t seen AL for about a month and I didn’t remind him that I was doing this so in my emotional state and knowing he remembered and cared, it literally made me burst into tears. I must’ve liked a crazy person crying on the course. I texted him back that I just couldn’t keep going and he gave me a little encouragement and he always listens to me complain. I walked so so much of the course but I kept moving forward despite how badly I wanted to stop and how many times I texted AL to come pick me up.

I crossed the finish line after just under 3 hours. It’s the worst I’ve done since my very first half marathon (2012. that I was ALSO sick for!) and I was not very proud of myself for it. I texted my sister “I’m never running again!” but of course I already have future races on the books. Lol

This was definitely a learning experience but a painful one. The rest of the weekend, I just stayed in bed and “zipped up the sleeping bag 0f myself.” (-extremely loud and incredibly close)

 

 

 

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I’m a little Scared of Halloween

Halloween has always been a pretty big day for me. I love this time of year and Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays. As a kid, of course I loved the candy and trick or treating. I’ve always loved getting dressed up and chose my costumes with some intent!

In 2007, (WOW that sounds like forever ago!) I met my now ex boyfriend on Halloween, while dressed as Boo from Monster’s Inc ;). We dated for 3 years. When we broke up, Halloween lost a little bit of the magic as it was now an anniversary of something that stung just a little.

But I moved on. And last year, 2015, I made my then boyfriend do the Haunted 5K with me. My love, my fav sport and my fav holiday all bundled together for a great day. Oh and I was dressed as my fav animal- a shark, and he was a shark bite victim.

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I sewed it while I was at work! Lol 

We broke up 8 days later…

So this year, I’m in a weird head space. I went back and forth for a long time on whether I wanted to do the Haunted 5K again (this time alone) and then found out it was a virtual run only and I felt like I was off the hook.

My life today is not what I expected it to be this time last year.  But here I am, trying to make the most with what I’ve got. I live a very blessed life; I am fully aware of that. But it’s just not where I thought I would be at 29. I’m not sure any of this is health/running related other than I did a 5K a year ago! Part of me wishes, I could do it again this year to kind of wash that man right out of my running/Halloween hair. But there is still the virtual race. Should I do it?

If anyone asks me my favorite Broadway play (which since that’s basically all I listen to, I actually do get asked pretty regularly) I always answer Aida. It’s beautiful and so beyond sad I can hardly even listen to it!  But there is a line Aida sings to Radames  that I think about a lot.

“If you don’t like your fate, change it. You are your own master, there are no shackles on you. So don’t expect any pity or understanding from this humble palace slave.”

There is still a special place in my heart for Halloween but the walls are a bit cracked.

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Luckily, Thanksgiving holds no ghosts of boyfriends past memories for me and I’m all signed up to do the turkey trot!!


 

 

 

Break Up Playlist: Expect Better

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A few of my close friends know that I was dating someone. And that that someone dumped me on my big behind. It’s fine… I mean it sucks but it was for the best. He had good reasons and we’re going to be “friendly.” (Guys, don’t get your honey where you get your money!) The point is, I’ve been wallowing and feeling generally blue the way you do after a guy you like says “see ya” and I’ve been playing saaaad songs at the gym. Sadder than normal.

Yesterday I thought to myself, F THAT! I’m a bad ass lady who deserves better from a guy and better from myself! So I switched off the bummer songs and created a new playlist! So far I’ve got

You know I’m No Good – Amy Winehouse

Kiss with a Fist – Florence + the Machine

Pumpkin Soup – Kate Nash

Dirty Laundry – Bitter:sweet

How to Be a Heartbreaker – Marina and the Diamonds

Our Time – Lily Allen

Water Under the Bridge – Adele

Trouble – Iggy Azalea ft. Jennifer Hudson

What other songs would you add?? 

 

p.s. If you wanted to hear the sad songs, on repeat was

I’ll Never Fall in Love Again – Promises Promises soundtrack

All I Ask – Adele (She makes both lists!)

She Used to be Mine – Sara Bareilles/ Waitress

See I’m Smiling AND Still Hurting – The Last 5 Years soundtrack

My Apartments Very Clean Without You – Garfunkel and Oats

 

Dark times guys. Dark times. Good songs tho. Gym bud AL is real glad they’re not playing anymore though. He puts up with so much.